This message comes from someone who is helping the family. A true angel. The names have been removed, but it is the status of the world for BH’s family. I share it with you so you know that there is a community of love surrounding the family, in addition to all you beautiful people.
The Lovely Wife wants to thank you for your outpouring of care, love and support.
Many of you have inquired about TLW and the children. I've been checking in with her daily. There is no one way I can describe how she is doing. I can say however, that from what I observe, she is facing the reality of BH’s death with courage and a willingness to meet both the pain and the freedom his death has brought about. She is taking good care of herself while being very present with the kids. Unfortunately she did pull her back and has been having some back spasm, but is caring for it.
Friends and family have been around making sure she is not alone. She's gotten tremendous help from many of you with meals, shopping, house cleaning and plain old love.
The children stayed home Monday and Tuesday and on Wednesday the darling boy went to school. When I picked him up from school, there was a lightness about him. I think that knowing that even though his life is forever changed, some things like good friends and school are still there and normal and won't be taken away.
Forgive me if I state the obvious, but for those of you who do see the family or will in the near future, please take care not to talk to the kids about BH’s death unless they initiate the conversation, (and perhaps ask your kids not to either.) At the moment DB feels that his father's death is a private matter (I am quoting his words.) As adults we know we can't protect him from the reality of how public it really is, but for now, if we can just allow him to have a little more time to dictate the pace in which this information seeps in and the time he needs to process the fact that his life is forever changed-it will be a little gift we can give him.
The family took a trip to Santa Cruz for a couple of days with a good friend of TLW. They rented a cabin on the beach with a hot tub. If anyone knows a good massage therapist in Santa Cruz please let me know. It would be wonderful if she can get one or two massages while she is there.(Please let me know by Sat as they are only staying until Sunday.)
Many of you have been asking about making a donation to the family or to acollege fund for the kids. I will give you more information about how to do this in the next week or two.
Arrangements are still being made for the memorial service and we are hopingto sort it out by early next week. I will let all of you know as soon as I know. It looks like it will be on either the weekend of February 23rd orMarch 8th.
With much love,
I'll keep you all up to date as things settle down for the family.